From Comfortably Numb to Uncomfortably Loved

We're packing our room up and getting everything set for our early
(5:30) bus ride to the airport tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day
everything changes. We really haven't had time to stop and think
about this since we got our Travel Approval 3 weeks ago. Since then
it's been all about planning this and doing that and signing this and
filling out that. Now it's real and it's right in front of us.
Tonight was the last night that we only put one daughter to bed.
Wow. Christina and I are both having a hard time wrapping our heads
around this. After 3-1/2 years of waiting, you develop certain coping
mechanisms to deal with the pain of waiting with no foreseeable end.
You sort of stuff the reality of the adoption back behind the numbing
distraction of daily life. Comfortably numb, you could say. (My
apologies to Pink Floyd). The less real the adoption is, the less
painful the wait is.

That's how we've been functioning for a couple years now. We have
prayed consistently and earnestly every night as we put Tessa to bed
that this day would come, but the prayers often felt like
calisthenics. Something you do because it's good exercise, even
though the motions don't have any bearing on real life.

Then God, as He is so famously known to do, surprises us by reminding
us that He is real, He loves us and has actually been listening to
us. He drops a bomb on us with a 'Yes' and a 'Now'. Now after all
this time of praying and waiting, only hours away from the culmination
of God's answered prayer, we're both wondering what in the world have
we just done here. Tomorrow afternoon, we'll be faced with all sorts
of unknowns. Will Tori love us? Will she even like us? Will we love
her? How's Tessa going to take this?

I think God is completely pleased that we're feeling slightly
uncomfortable. We are going to need Him to make this work. With all
the unknowns that we have facing us, there two things we know: First,
God loves us. Second, God loves Tori more than we ever will. If He
didn't want her with us, then we wouldn't be getting on a plane to
Chongqing tomorrow.

OK God. We'll see you tomorrow. Can't wait to watch You work.